is caused by..

Rapist doesn't know he's a Rapist

This is extremely relevant to the readings of which I read at which men do not know they are even actively acting out violence against women because society has made it seem like it is something that is acceptable and expected. I myself have been coerced into certain situations that I did not want to be in simply because I was the girl friend and I should be fulfilling my role. Men seem to have this mentality that "NO" means try harder, or that it means convince me. They also seem to think that simply because you had already have sex with them before that there is no possible way that they could ever rape you. And as this poster says it's hard to even blame them at times because the problem goes beyond just them. The problem is systemic which is due to the patriarchal society that we live in. It is sad but true.

Sexual Objectification

The Sexual Objectification Checklist 

transformfeminism:

stfufauxminists:

isaywesay:

1. Does the image show only part(s) of a sexualized person’s body?

BMW

2. Does the image present a sexualized person as a stand-in for an object?

Four Loko

3. Does the image show sexualized persons as interchangeable? 

Mercedes Benz

4. Does the image affirm the idea of violating the bodily integrity of a sexualized person who can’t consent?

Duncan Quinn

5. Does the image suggest that sexual availability is the defining characteristic of the person? 

American Apparel

6. Does the image show a sexualized person as a commodity that can be bought and sold?

Red Tape Shoes

Gender in the Media

Through several of years the media has brought a distorted mirror of our lives and of our gender. In just a few examples which I decided to focused on were commercials, song lyrics, and a movie. It is important to take media into account because the media is world wide and the most popular movies, commercials, and songs spread out transnationally. If we didn't study the media it would mean that we would not be acknowledging what influences our very lives.

The first form of media I am going to talk about is this Axe commercial that I saw trying to sell men's hair gel. During this commercial there is a “guy” and a “woman” , I put this in quotations because the quote on quote “guy” and “woman” are actually more like “hair” and a pair of “breasts”. Throughout the commercial the so called guy is basically following the so called woman trying to get her attention. Of course he does not accomplish this until the very end when they both have their full bodies and he uses the axe hair gel and then end slogan is “Hair. It's what girls see first.” So with that being said it implies that what men see first are a woman’s breast since that is all she consisted of and even when they returned to their full body forms the woman had on pushup bra and a low cut shirt. Can you say sexist? So what are the elements of gender within this commercial aside from the obvious? First off it stays within the hetero-normative dichotomy roles that society enforces upon us and it also denotes that in order for a woman to be sexy enough to be wanted she has to have a nice rack. Moreover, the second form of media that I will talk about are song lyrics. Oh, song lyrics I could probably go pages and pages talking about this but I will spare you your beloved eyes and sum it up as best that I can. Therefore, for this I have the most perfect example from a girl named Kai Davis who is a spoken word poet that makes a reference to a popular song by DreDRE ; this is how it went: “We’ve learned to call queens outside of their real titles. Girls became ‘Jawns’, ‘Jawns’ became ‘bitches’, and bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks. Whose trick was that? Is it a coincidence that the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene share the same name, but not the same crown? These girls have no crown. Just scalp-pats and ass-taps. They say “Hit it from the back”. Well, I couldn’t look a Queen in the eye either. So we’ll just pretend they’re all animals or objects. Because devotion is harder than disconnection. Someone disconnect the throne from the seat of their elastic denim. Beat them till they bounce back like rubber-banded bimbos. Tell them bend over. Can you wave hello to hell? Can you smell the burning embers? Does it smell like sulphur? Does it smell like dirty twat? You know, dirty twats get swatted into filthy gutters. We’ve got to get our minds out the gutter. Gotta get these hoes off the track. Gotta get this glue out this trap. Those sticky, Nicki Minaj impersonators, those self-proclaimed “Bad bitches”, “Hood Bitches”, “Five-star Bitches”. They disrespect the galaxies because heaven has no place for whores. So where will they go? Sexual freedom isn’t acceptable for women. Due to the misogyny massaged into men’s brains. A Queen loses her crown when she loses her virginity. And a Queen becomes a ‘bitch’ when she likes it.” This perfectly sums up what that song does, along with other degrading misogynistic songs that are there, but focusing on this one specifically she hits every single point that there is to be made. This song is sexist, objectifying, and racist. “Look I like bitches, that's lightskinned-ed, With ah whole a lot of ass, and get right with it, Off a pill, i can prolly' make her like bitches, Lick Lick it, like a lolli till it's like Liquid, These hoochies always talkin' bout, where my dick is, But if it's not in your mouth, then get out my business, A nigga real ratchet, i ain't Wifin' Shit, Known to fuck and cut her off, Lightswitches..” Aside from this song not even having actual words within half the song the whole agenda is for woman to be viewed as objects. It dehumanizes us by making it seem that we are noting but a hole to fill for when a man wants to get off. Another point that Kai Davis comes across is that she states how sexual freedom is not acceptable for woman, yet having sex acted upon us is alright. This goes back to the whole “I want a freak in the sheets but a lady on the streets” saying and also song lyric while men have the liberty of being as sexual as they please, it's all double standards. This song does not only degrade but enforces male violence against woman by making it seem these are the gender roles that should be acting out by insinuating that the way to attract a woman is by treating her like some dog, because that sure as hell is the way I would like to be desired and approached, I mean who wouldn't want to be treated like some hound right?

On a lighter note, I am now going to talk about the movie “Brave” and how it has actually been one of the more positive forms of media that have been out there which give me hope that maybe things will change. Some of the most powerful parts about the movie are that it showed an accurate depiction of a mother/daughter relationship, which is something that is rarely seen since most of the time it is father/son relationships that are portrayed, also how Elinor truly is the ruler of her kingdom eventhough Fergus is the king, he doesn’t rule the kingdom. He follows Elinors lead and lets her shine. She truly is the most powerful person in the kingdom and you don’t see Fergus acting like an ass about it. He realizes she is a better ruler and supports his wife. This gives off a positive message of a hard working mother and a functional couple. There are not many powerful queens that you can see out there in Disney movies, the ones that are either evil or passive for the most part. They also have Merida, who is head strong, independent, and believes in herself. They get a role model who is as confident as her mother and really will fight for what she believes in. She truly is the Princess I wish I more girls had growing up. Not that I don’t love Belle, Ariel, Jasmine, and the other princesses I grew up with but their stories still revolve around the men in their lives not the women. It was nice and refreshing to see a Princess movie just about the women with the men as the background characters. That is truly revolutionary and a true deconstruction of how woman are viewed.

All in all, media is something that is going to influence gender and has greatly tried to set out messages to how a person should be. What all these have in common is the hetero-normative, male oriented, and societies perception of how men should see woman and how woman should be viewed as. The axe commercial showed how woman and men are physically represented in the media in the form of desire once again saying that what I woman has going for her depends on her physical appearance, the song represented that no matter how demeaning people will listen to it and take those gender roles to heart, and finally the movie was the pivotal hope that maybe gender in the media is coming to some sort of change, and this time for the better.

Half Drag

I feel like this picture goes along perfectly with chapter 5. I love the way that this photograph shows so clearly yet beautifully the half man, half drag. From previous articles that I have read and movies that I have seen I feel like this photograph demonstrates how deep this transformation is, not only on a physical level that is clearly seen to the public but on a more personal level as well. Some drag friends that I personally have find it as a form of escape and acceptance into this new world. As the book mentions gender constructs sex, not only with drag queens but as the book mentioned cross dressers as well. "The body is an extension of the psyche, is imagined more than it is composed of physical delineated  parts" Which mens that just because they are drag queens or cross dressers does not necessarily mean that they are transsexuals or transgendered.

Queer

“Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all other taboos broken down. Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about. We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family. We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.”

I thought that this was such a great  quote that explains such a complex perspective. A lot of people do not know nor seem to realize that there is a difference between sex and gender and how there is nothing wrong with people who are transgendered rather there is something wrong with this heteronormative binary that this culture enforces so heavily. It is not fair to them nor anyone to make another individual feel like they are less of a person simply because they sex does not match their gender or because they happen to fall in love with the opposite sex. I hope that one day people begin to understand that there is no such thing as "normal" and that everyone is equally beautiful no matter what.